R.I.P. Nana

I woke up early as i had exams in two days time and i had not studied anything for the subject. Before i could sit i decided to give a call home to inquire about my grandfather's health which was very bad the previous night. I was informed that last night he was restless and now that he's sitting up and all and that he's on the road to recovery. My dad held the phone to his ears so that i could talk but he didnt talk to me probably because he didnt even understand what was going on. I started my usual routine of studies and dad called at 9.45 before i picked up the call i knew something was wrong and somewhere in my mind a thought of my nana passing away crept up, i wasnt wrong that was indeed the news, i still remember how dad sobbed on the phone and his only lines were "Appu's gone" he disconnected immediately after this. I was standing like a thunder had struck me, tears rolling down uncontrollably. And as soon as i closed my eyes to stop the tears, i saw my grandfather carrying a red pedal car on his back and walking into my house on my 3rd birthday and it was the best gift i had got that year, the next picture of the last time i had seen him and i could see those helpless eyes trying to say something but i couldnt make out what. It was so sudden, he was unwell for quite a sometime but was recovering. I had to get there no matter what was my first thought, dad called me up and told me to catch a flight somehow and get to ahmedabad asap. i called a friend of my sister to get an agent to book a ticket because there was some problem in the airport and the last flight to leave ahmedabad was at 1.30 so i had to get a ticket on it no matter what. The same friend got me the ticket printout at 12.45 and i had to check in by 1.30... it was a mad run to the airport but finally i made it. All the while in the flight i could only remember his helpless eyes and the red car that he had bought for me. I landed at ahmedabad and was straight on my way to my house. The moment i entered my house i saw him lying motionless its really a wired feeling because the person whom u have seen around u all your life suddenly knowin he wont move any more sends a chill down his spine. The situation at my place was really bad and soon as i went inside every1 was crying my tears were about to erupt but i knew i had to hold it back as every single person i saw from my dad to my smallest cousin were crying. I knew i had to be strong here and i met my grandmom she hugged me and said to me in my year in the middle of unstoppable sobs " Appu's gone son, he's gone".....

After a while of crying and despair i was informed that i was supposed to be the one along with my uncle to do the last rites and it was hard because as soon as they tied him up i felt really bad and a sudden feeling of anger filled me up to hit the guy who was doing this to my dear grandfather but i held myself back still not shedding a single drop of tear. But then came the most toughest part when we took him to the crematorium and i was told to apply ghee on his feet and face so that the body could burn fast while applying it i could see his eyes and still i could not manage any tears and then another depressing task was to put his body into the electric furnace which again i had to initiate and there was a sea of sorrow in my heart. And finally when i thought that all was done came the last rites of the charred bones and the first piece was a piece of his skull which we had to take in a clay pot for immersion. As soon as i reached back home i knew in my heart that i had grown into a man. I had to get back to mumbai the very next day as i had my exams day after so it was a really long shot. At night i realised that i hadnt cried since when i had first heard the news but somehow i couldnt, i really felt the need of someone with whom i could just sit and cry. Sadly i could not do it with my family members, thats when i realised the importance of a shoulder to cry on. As soon i sat in my flight the very next day it hit me hard as to what i had gone through the previous day and for almost 45 minutes i just kept cryin alone in intervals because of the small small things i remembered. I landed gave my exams but still even today when i close my eyes to remember him all i can see is the red car on his shoulders and his helpless eyes in his last days and i felt bad for one thing when i had met him last time when i was coming back to mumbai i kissed his hand which he held tightly and mom told to give him a hug, which i didnt i dont know why but i just didnt hug him and that pain of not huggin him will stay with me for the rest of my life. R.I.P Nana

The 2 Years!

The other day i woke up with a thought of going back to my old college in baroda where i had spent 2 years of my life just enjoying along with bogus college studies..........so i packed my bag and headed to the place, all nature's odd were against me with sudden heavy downpour and flooding early in the morning i had to delay my commencement but i did go. Returning back to the city made me feel a bit fresh all the old memories came flooding back to my mind and to top it all there was this excellent atmosphere settleing in which promised the onset of rains. I met one of my close friends first of all, a guy who when i came to this city with my friend and we were lonely for being away from home in a strange city for the first time in life, rendered a helping hand and was kind to us. We caught up on old times and thats when i realised that it felt as if i had been here again after ages while it was just 2 years since i had left the city. A ride through the campus made me more excited and happy and finally we reached the hostel where i can vouch that i had spent the best and the most carefree days of my life. All the memories of us having tea together at the canteen, playing cricket at midnight in the lobby, pouring water over each other, celebrating birthdays etc made me nostalgic. I met my room mate who used to stay with us in the hostel and it did feel good. Sometimes it made me wonder how would have life turned out if i had never left this place........guess it will remain a mystery forever. But i learnt that its really important for us to go back to our roots once upon a tiime just to see and realise as to from where v began our journey of life and where v have to reach. It feels good.